Walking it off

Too many answers

2012-01-22T23:26:00.001-06:00

A pop song my daughter has forced on us plagued the beginning of my walk. After a while, I was able to push it out of my mind, temporarily replaced by lines from Santana. By the end, I managed strains from Concierto de Aranjuez.

I have wasted too much time today arguing. There are so many foolish people with so much anger and energy, they cannot take the time to consider facts or reason or decency. Perhaps one of those fools is me, opening myself up to the droppings of the swine.

Solitude can let in too many voices. I must be careful. Worse than the smug are those that say, "The next clever thing you say will convince them." Worse even are the voices that ask you why you bother and do not wait around for an answer.

big cats
crouch in dried leaves
thinking they are hidden
my dogs know you're there and can smell
your fear

Against grey

2012-01-16T18:19:00.001-06:00

Before the storm hit, Tonya and I walked past debris on a fence, past the burned out Roots and Wing Dingers, around the Holliday Inn. We talked of exercise and arguments, the wind and hills against us. Toward the end, I enjoyed a little color against the grey.

damp wind
a thick jacket
nerves lighting up the leg
i'm glad you came along to see
these leaves

Avoiding

2012-01-11T00:24:00.001-06:00

Rain fell much of the night and morning. A stomach bug and general malaise collided with my work day, and much time was spent keeping warm. At the cusp between sunset and nightfall I needed outside air.

So Cleo and I explored a few unfamiliar cul de sacs in the complex, she ever patient. We avoided the muddy fields, and most of the puddles, some of the cold.

Then then ankle got sore, and I wondered how I'd play soccer if walking hurt so much now.

thick grey poles behind
mobile homes holding wires taut
the leash chain tightens
clouds hang over the trailers
the dog and i wince uphill

Brothers and Books

2012-01-08T23:21:00.001-06:00

On the first leg of today's walk, I was alone with Cleo, who left me to my thoughts. And for some reason, I thought about my brothers. One is so different from me in looking at the world, but is one of my closest friends. One has distanced himself from me, and others. Another seems lost in a bottle. I'm left to conclude that I need to pray for them, not only because I want to see their welfare improve. I need to pray for them for the well-being of my heart and the growth of my soul.

I was joined on the second leg by my wife. We took Thor, who seemed determined to pull my hand off. Otherwise the air was crisp and the time pleasant. My wife and I talked about books and the relationships of those who write them. I returned home thirsty and warm.

ay dog!
we haven't time
for every cat you see
or every post you want to mark
let's go!

Sunny Day

2012-01-06T20:51:00.001-06:00

We are almost a week into the new year and this afternoon I walked the dogs wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. I'm sure the cold weather will come, but I hope walking is again a habit before it does.

Saw several dogs on Cleo's part of the journey. One small one got away from a tiny child and came to warn Cleo of his presence. Cleo responded in kind, barking as if the little things was a guest on The O'Reilly Factor.

little barbie dog
do you expect to be fierce
under a car's wheel?

Two dogs were tied up. One was a large animal who barked his warning and went to his sentry post on the porch. The other was a miniscule thing I've seen many times at our complex. It is usually wearing one of those hideous dog outfits and being "walked" by an elderly gentleman who travels only far enough away from his driveway to be certain furry leash ball doesn't pee on his car.

About the time my back and feet were going to protest their poor treatment, we saw my wife returning from her walk to the library. We traded -- Cleo for her bundle of books. And despite the stormy mental morning, the sun managed to shine.

wearying sunshine
the dog argues in silence
i grunt my retorts
until my lover appears
we exchange smiles and burdens

I wonder who is older

2012-01-05T17:20:00.001-06:00

After Thor took his colossal dump, something in the grass startled him, and he nearly broke my ankle trying to get away from what I could not see. If I didn't believe in God, I might suspect the universe of conspiring against my efforts to exercise. But Thor is a dog who sniffs where he has just peed in order to see who had recently been there.

Cleo was more gentle, deigning to sit, albeit with a bit of a whimper, as I tried to snap a picture of the cat she'd wanted to chase yesterday. Hank Jones and Charlie Haden's performance of "Blessed Assurance" was looping in my head as a sweat tried to break through the cold.

hip-sore, i should not
worry about your bowels
as much as my own

Release

2012-01-04T18:25:00.001-06:00

I walked this morning to shut the dog up, the dog who whimpered as if her bladder might explode if I wrote or read another word.

But soon I found my back needed the release from the chair and my head needed release from the air in the tiny house. What was to be written needed to bounce around and grow a little inside my mind.

So Cleo and I took to our small circuit and observed a neighbor banging "For Rent" signs into the ground, a small girl too young for school and too old for constant supervision, the cold mailboxes not yet filled, and a Persian cat trying to escape Cleo before the dog even noticed it or the tree it climbed.

When we returned, I noticed Cleo had not her business, so I reminded her. She was content to chew on the clover before going inside.

I left the music
inside our warm, sunless house
to watch you not pee.

What keeps me from these devotions?

2010-09-16T08:12:00.001-05:00

I want so badly to get back into the swing of walking, but too darn much life has gotten in the way. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

Having recently read Scott Cairns’ Short Trip to the Edge: Where Earth Meets Heaven--A Pilgrimage, I have felt a pulling to devote more time to the Jesus Prayer and the Lord’s Prayer, and also to walk as a matter of spiritual, more than physical discipline. Of course, I have said the latter before, but this book (which is not really about walking) and some other things I have encountered have put me again in this mindset.

What keeps me from these devotions? Nothing and plenty.

I have been walking more at work, now that I have been back a couple of weeks. I try to space time out so that I can walk across campus every hour or so, as I have done before, to get coffee or something I may need from the division office. At least my back (which has suffered lately) has been grateful. But I have also spent a lot of time in the xar, and it is hard to walk when driving.

I have also had the blessing of a neighbor, new to me, who has given me reason to be afraid to leave the house, and in particular, afraid to walk in the neighborhood during the hours I would likely walk. I won’t go into the details about this here.

But I must pray, and I must find time and place to walk. I mustn’t give in to fear. Even in the dark, I must step toward Grace.

That’s all?

2010-07-22T01:26:00.001-05:00

Wednesday: Since the injection, my back has been sore, a little stiff. Finally, I was able to talk myself into walking around the block at 2 in the morning. It isn’t much, but it’s moving. The weather had been mild Tuesday, and I should have taken advantage of it.

A shot

2010-07-12T01:59:00.001-05:00

Monday: More to wake up before trying to work than anything else, I took a short walk to the corner and back. Quick chat with neighbor about soccer and the behavior of dogs. Dogs in the neighborhood barking at me.

Wednesday/Thursday: Saw the doctor Wednesday about the back pain and agreed to an injection Thursday. Certainly feeling better, though stiff and bruised, but not getting out. Rain one reason, but it shouldn’t be.

Headaches and clouds

2010-07-04T12:38:00.001-05:00

Sunday: Afternoon, but I don’t mind because the heat feels good to my back. I walked after grading many papers, at first to 548 and back, but I extended it just a little. There were clouds to look at, but none to cover. My mind was scattered; I could not think of any one thing, but maybe that’s good. Another day I can stay out until I think of something or become content with nothing. I even walked through lots of grass and dirt; I don’t know what made be brave. Thinking about a friend who is miles away running under the same hot sun, and happy to just be moving.

Thursday: Headache was plaguing me and I could not concentrate on work, so I decided to walk around the neighborhood. Saw a jay hop up to the roof of a house and wondered if he was lazy or had just found a better way to get where he wanted. When I got home, my back hurt something fierce and I got little work done before I had to drive children all over.

After a promising start

2010-06-26T00:40:00.001-05:00

Sunday: Took a short walk as the sun was setting from the house to what used to be my kids’ elementary school. Thought about how much I missed my kids who were gone to camp and how I was walking slow, though I’m told to lose weight I have to have brisker, longer walks. All in due time, I thought to myself. It also occurred to me that prayer should be the focal point of my solitary walks, not so much the composition of poems or taking pictures. And then I wondered if my little poems might be part of my prayers. That seems right sometimes, but I wondered if I was just making excuses.

Monday: No walk today. Went to the library, and at some point I wondered if I’d ever get the a point where I could walk there a couple times a week.

The rest of the week was pretty much a bust. I kept wanting to walk, needing to reduce the stress by moving about, but something always got in the way. An appointment here, a headache there, a computer all the time making my work harder and more time consuming than it should have been. (I know. That last should have been all the more reason to strap on the shoes and go, but every time I seriously thought about it, I felt something in my blood pressure drop, and I feared I might not make it back.)

I’m back…maybe

2010-06-19T17:10:00.001-05:00

Monday: As you can see from the lack of activity lately, I haven’t done much walking. There are a number of reasons for this, but the biggest one is the problem of my back. I have written before about problems and struggles, but it seems have come to a head of sorts today. I had concluded that I would have to walk without the dogs for awhile, and that I may have to do more night walking when I can't sleep. But I haven’t. And today I had to go to the hospital emergency room. I was given several drugs through an i.v., and within a few hours was at home working on the computer (one of many things that could be exacerbating my problem). I do not know what to make of it. But I have to get out there somehow.

Tuesday: Anger seems to have driven my walk today. Anger at disobedient children who look at me like I’m nuts. Anger at people who claim to care what I think, but tell me to shut up. Anger at those who want my silence and coax me to speak at the same time. Anger at mediation. Anger at the pain in my back. Good time to walk I guess, if just through a few alleys looking at thistles and apple tress that hang over the fence of someone in the neighborhood. I used to walk myself tired, long time ago, when upset. Today, wrote a little poem, took a couple pictures, and walked myself sore, all in the span of about fifteen minutes.

Wednesday: Well, when I woke up this morning with my back hurting I returned to sleep. When I got up, it was worse, but I trudged on…all the way to the computer. My plan was to work for forty-five minutes to an hour and then walk for fifteen. I got one walk in, at first feeling good in the heat, but sore by the time I got home. Wasn’t too bad though; it was pain like exercise is supposed to be like. Thought I’d get out again, but then there were too many distractions and I all I managed was work.

Thursday and Friday: No walking these days. Wanted to, but much was in the process of going wrong. I should probably try to walk at night, and get away from this dang computer.

Some poem written the last time I walked

2010-05-22T13:18:00.002-05:00

a fat man labors on an old road
a dog barks
another dog follows the barking
a smell of cut grass and stirred pollen
as the back begins to flame
tires on gravel briefly cover
hoots and chirps toward dusk
a smell of kerosene and fired brush

Only Monday

2010-04-04T01:31:00.002-05:00

Monday: Almost did not make the Monday walk to El Centro. I’d gone a few feet when the leg and back started hurting. Actually, the back had been hurting for a few hours. Anyway, I stopped walking and thought about going to my car and driving to the office. But I told myself if I could go a little more, maybe I’d be alright. A few minutes later, I was sitting at a computer, a little sore, but not bad off. Flared up again on the way back, but I was able to concentrate on other things enough to be distracted from the distraction.

So much space in Dallas

seems devoted to parking.

Yet every lot I pass

is lonelier than a prayer garden.

Reading:

Listening:

A Lessening

2010-03-28T23:38:00.014-05:00

Sunday: Walked around the Ashton Cemetery a little bit. It really wasn’t much in the way of exercise, except mentally perhaps. It was very cold, and I was sore.

In Ashton Cemetery, there are signs

of a cold radiance and absorption:

a toy under a wreath blown over,

a wet condom in the parking lot,

a trucker catching up on sleep.

The bare trees rustle like animals curious

but too depressed to hunt.

Monday: The weather was nice for my walk to El Centro. (This after some goofiness in the forecast: 70s on one day and snow the next.) On the way, I passed through the West Transfer Station and noticed two interesting things. First, there is a kind of history of Dallas etched into parts of the cement. Second, there is a sign that contains a long list of rules of behavior. It makes me sad that the world is so full of people who don’t know how to act and have to be reminded via signage.
While grading papers, I listened to The Elephant Sleeps But Still Remembers by Jack DeJohnette and Bill Frisell. Was listening through the Bluetooth on my phone. Enjoyed it so much, I continued listening as I walked back, departing from my usual habit of trying to note the sounds of the city around me.
Pain did not get as intense as the previous days and didn’t hit until I was near my destination each time. I don’t know what that means, but I’m grateful.
Thursday: I’ve decided I need to measure how far it is between my office and the division office. Sometimes it is all I can do to get from one to the other.

Reading:

Listening:

Spring Break -- Daylight Savings

2010-03-21T02:05:00.000-05:00

Tuesday: Because Daylight Savings started this week, there was sunlight as I took the Tuesday walk through Royse City. This time, I avoided downtown and walked through residential areas toward the city park. I began to hurt pretty early, and all I could think was how I was never going to lose this weight if I couldn't even walk a little bit without intense pain and shortness of breath. At the park, I stopped to rest.

Discourged. Only
a few feet into the walk
the back and legs rebel.
I have no defense,
no energy to surrender.
Just keep moving, I hear
myself say. But the scraping
of my feet on the pavement
sounds too much like a shovel
digging my grave.

Then I headed for the church where the boy was enjoying a party with his friends in scouts. I noticed the houses, so many well kept. Some houses were new, some were shotgun shacks made beautiful by good maintanence, some rennovated. Many had flowers or less natural designs to make them unique and attractive. Even those near crumbling seemed wonderful to me.

And as I neared my destination, I realized that I did not envy these people their money or their objects of beauty. I envied the time they had to partner with their hearts' desires, and maybe their Creator, to make their living spaces what they are.

Wednesday: I decided to take advantage of the time to walk in the shopping area near where my wife was being interviewed for a job in Rockwall. I first made my way to the Best Buy to browse the computer stuff, but I spent most of my time there looking through their sorry selection of music. Did hear a Toby Keith song about Wayman Tisdale and an unreleased Jackson Five tune.

Then I made my way back and to the Dollar Tree. By the time I got there, I was hurting pretty bad. Saw some interesting things, but couldn't concentrate because my back,hip and leg hurt so much, I felt like I was spending all my energy holding myself up.

It is sometimes is like two bones rubbing together, and I worry that I have something serious going on with my back, though most of the pain seems to be where there is muscle and tendon, not bone. But what the heck do I know? I am fairly certain that if something doesn't change soon, I'll be back at the doctor's office. I can't lose any weight getting two sorry walks each week. And I can't lose stress, if all I can think about during these walks is that I made a mistake setting on this or any journey.

Reading:

Listening:

also a concert recording of the Mike Drake Quartet

How does steel grow?

2010-03-13T18:08:00.001-06:00

Tuesday: Walked through downtown Royse City again, glad to have it just cool enough for a sweatshirt, wishing, though I was very sore, that I had more time and energy to do this.

    How does steel grow?
    place a ball of it above
    my age abused hip,
    conceal the dark mass with fat.
    I'll walk it in large thin shoes.

Friday: No walking, but I did play some soccer with my son, one of his teammates, and another father when the boys' practice didn't happen as planned. Fun and sweaty on a cool evening.

Reading:

Listening:

Blame it on the meds

2010-03-09T22:59:00.000-06:00

Sunday: Walked around the Eastfield building looking for an opening so I could do some work. Normally I wouldn't count this, but I hurt like mad when I found someone from campus security to let me in, so there it is.

Tuesday: Walked from FUMC-Royse City to downtown. Was going to vote, but I had arrived too late (having misinformed myself that the polls would be open until 8). Walked some more through downtown and back trying to not let it bother me that this deaf old lady kept telling me, almost shouting, that the polls were closed, though I clearly heard her the first time.

I don't have much in the way of excuses for not walking more or for getting more out of the walks I've had. Pain and anxiety play a role. So does the fact that the dogs' leashes both got broken. I'm also concerned about my meds. Had them all refilled, and between that and being very behind in my work, my sleep has been significantly jacked up. I look forward to Spring Break.

Reading:

Listening:

Behind

2010-02-27T08:19:00.001-06:00

Saturday: Walked a good hour with my wife, she taking Loki, and I with Cleo. Very tired, fairly sore, extremely sweaty. Good stuff.

Monday: Angry I could not find my jacket, I walked from FUMC-Dallas to El Centro. About halfway there, found myself, for some strange reason, musing on why Shaquille O'Neal is the most overrated basketball player in history and why he is a lousy role model.

Tuesday: A little evening walk in downtown Royse City. Gotta figure out what is wrong with my back or I won't make more than a mile a day.

Thursday: Weighed myself while at wife's doctor's appointment. Didn't like the result. Didn't expect miracles, but damn!

Friday: Okay, no real walk, but I did give two library tours that exhausted me. Still a long way to go.

Reading:

Listening:

2010-02-20T07:53:00.002-06:00

Monday: I have figured that it takes roughly the same amount of time for me to walk from FUMC-Dallas to El Centro as it does to drive from there to Eastfield. The plus of going into my own office, other than it being my own office, is that I am in a comfortable place with a computer I am familiar with (and from which I can listen to my own music). However, I decided today to save the gas and gain the exercise.

    Diesel perfume hits me
    as I trudge through the West Transit Center.
    It is the sweet smell of movement.
    But quickly, I take note of the cigarettes
    from tired women and young toughs,
    and I must remind myself
    I'll be safe soon enough.

Wednesday: I suppose I got some exercise, but it was not, in my mind, a successful walk. I was distracted the whole time either by the dogs' lack of cooperation or the theme song from Craig Ferguson's show bouncing in my head.

Thursday: No walk, but I did participate in son's basketball practice by being part of the defense as they ran plays. Ouch. But fun.

Friday: Dogs were better behaved today, probably because they walked once in the morning with Tonya and once in the afternoon/evening with Alex. We took an extra ten minutes.

Reading:

Listening:

Snow!

2010-02-13T02:06:00.000-06:00

Friday: Yesterday we had a record for snowfall in a single day. This afternoon, I walked with the dogs where I could see the field I look for sunflowers during the summer. Saw a lot of kids playing and some grown up making the hugest snowman I've ever seen. Snow was melting from some of the trees and in the streets there was a steady stream to the gutters, which Loki seemed particularly afraid of. But there was no wind and so it felt pretty good outside (if I ignored my feet and ankles and back). It took a bit longer than it should have, but I'm glad I went.

Reading:

Listening:

Almost back to routine

2010-02-06T23:23:00.001-06:00

Monday: Got up around 4:30 and took Cleo and Loki on what has been my most used route. The odd thing was that Cleo, who has been many times was the one who kept wanting to stop and sniff everything. Loki went inside and outside of Cleo, but didn't do me too much damage. We had purchased a kind of split extension to the leash so I wouldn't have to have two leashes, and it worked, at least today, better than I had anticipated. Of course, I could not keep a dog at my side, and so they forced my walk to be more brisk than I normally would have taken. But my back didn't hurt as much.

In the evening, while daughter was at choir rehearsal, I walked from FUMC to El Centro and did some work there. Walk back took only fifteen minutes and I didn't have the pain in my hip or back I expected.

A siren turns

no heads here.
The ambulance
is no more
than a snippet
of conversation
or a wind blown bag

of chips. What we know
is we are not inside.

Tuesday: Cleo, Loki, and I took the usual route using a detour that added about ten minutes. Again, expected pain, but there was little.

Took a reasonably pleasant stroll that evening as the boy was at scouts around downtown Royse City. Perhaps there isn't much to see, but I saw some of it.

Wednesday: After two morning of the dogs being pretty good, they were a pain this morning. Cleo kept stopping to smell stuff or just look at things she'd looked at many times before. Loki kept jumping to either side of and getting himself tangled.

That afternoon, I had a check-up. No weight loss since the last visit and back on some meds. Got a new blood pressure drug. But at least I haven't gained.

Thursday and Friday: Too much rain and running around to do.

Reading:

Listening:

Bad dog forces mediocre walk

2010-01-30T20:37:00.000-06:00

Wednesday: Cleo got out after Loki dug a hole under the fence. I had to walk up and down the block to get her back and then Tonya and I took her for a short walk. Geez! The dog gets rewarded for bad behavior.

Reading:

Listening:

Sunday walk

2010-01-24T22:32:00.002-06:00

Sunday: After dropping the kids off at youth group, I walked from St. Peter's to the library, around, and then back. The air was cool and crisp, pleasant. A couple dogs barked at me. Pain in the hip wasn't too bad despite the inclines. Took a couple of pictures.

Too many things going on. I am going to have to get up earlier if I want to walk everyday.

Reading:

Listening:

Few disasters here

2010-01-16T13:05:00.000-06:00

Sunday: Took short walk with Cleo just before the sun went down. Should have taken Loki, but didn't think I could handle both of them at once. It was cold, but not as bitter as the past few days. Tried not to think about all the things I needed to do the next day, but failed. Did succeed at remembering something I was supposed to do the day before that may cost me a couple hundred dollars. Not too in love with my mind these days.

Wednesday: Had 25 minutes with Cleo after the sun had been down for about an hour. Still not ready to try both dogs yet, though they had already had a walk earlier in the day and were not as rambunctious. It was pleasant enough.

   Thousands dead in Haiti
   and I'm worried about my car.
   How did I get so far into myself?

Reading:

Listening:

A very cold week

2010-01-10T01:29:00.000-06:00

It was really cold for most of the week, and even when the sun was out, I had a hard time getting motivated to get up from the computer where I have been doing a lot of work on the Winter course. Also we have a new dog, Loki, and I am not confident yet trying to walk both animals. Bad excuse.

Did get a call from the nice lady at Blue Cross who is helping me manage things. Guess I better get my act together.

Tuesday: Walked twenty minutes in downtown Royse City. Must have been dinner time because I saw three police cars parked.

Reading:

Listening:

and some very cool tracks from the One O'Clock Lab Band

Christmas Week 2009

2009-12-26T09:43:00.004-06:00

Tuesday: Walked with the dog in the evening along what I think of as my sunflower route. But it was dark and there are no sunflowers this time of year. Had a haiku in mind, but when I got home and tried to write it down I had forgotten everything except the line "Balmy December."

Wednesday: This time before the sun went down, I walked along the sunflower route. Sunset was beautiful, and I took a couple pictures, but also took pictures of the debris of children's toys scattered at the end of the field. Thought about how with such a rough, tight Christmas this year, someone was not only throwing away toys they may have spent their last few dollars for one other holiday or birthday. Tried to not think about the pain in my back or the knot of soreness that came to my chest for a few minutes.

Thursday: Christmas Eve. Weather was bad most of the day. Okay, at the beginning of the day, I could have/should have walked, but didn't. Then I was doing the Christmas thing and going to church and all. Got home after driving my crap car through ice. Then the fifteen year old took the dog for a walk in the cold, and I felt old.

Friday: I can't quite get over the irony that while I often avoid my walks due to feeling bad, I actually took the dog for a walk because I felt bad. The pain I've felt for a few days and the poor sleep have really gotten to me, and I want it to end. I know it is really cold outside and my body cooperates so poorly with me that what should be a twenty minute walk ended up going about 30. Cleo and I took the square route. We stopped a minute at a neighbor's house where a friend of my son's told me about how good Santa was to him. The dog showed an uncanny fear of the inflatable yard decorations at this place, so we couldn't chat long. I noticed that many of the yards still had a little of the snow that fell yesterday, like a bag of sugar no one was in a hurry to clean up. I got home so sore I could bare cross the threshold or bend over to take the leash off the animal. I sure hope this time next year that getting a little fresh air won't wear me out so.

Reading:

Listening:

Oh to be young and stupid

2009-12-22T09:35:00.004-06:00

Wednesday: Took Cleo for a walk to the nearby elementary school and back. It was friggin' 20 something degrees, but the air was doing us both good. When I got to the school, I saw a handful of boys, two teens and a three younger, playing with skateboards. One of the teens had no shirt on. None. (He also had he pants down to half way past his tail, but that's another bit of stupidity I didn't want to focus on.) I looked around for some girls that he might have been trying to impress, but I didn't see any. So the dog and I just ambled home, shaking our heads.

Reading:

Listening:

Once around the block

2009-12-16T07:37:00.008-06:00

Friday: Other than a lot of walking at work, just one walk around the block with the dog, mostly because she got out and I figured I owed it to her.

Reading:

Listening:

Not really back on track

2009-12-07T12:56:00.002-06:00

Thursday: Very cold walk with Cleo on the "usual" route.

Friday: No official walk, but I went back and forth between my office and the division office a lot to stay alert.

Reading:

Listening:

Blame it on Thanksgiving

2009-11-28T09:13:00.004-06:00

Okay, it really isn't the fault of Thanksgiving, but I figure I should blame the fact I didn't walk much this week at all (except a lot from my office to the division office at work) on something.

Reading:

Listening:

Unfinished

2009-11-22T16:00:00.004-06:00

Tuesday: Started to walk while son was in scouts, but after about a block, returned to FUMC to read. Worried about the boy and the project due on Friday.

Wednesday: Short walk with Cleo. Might have gone the usual route, but it was cold outside (37 degrees), and I wasn't dressed as I possibly should have been, especially with the prospect of returning to no hot coffee.

Thursday: Walked the small square route with Cleo, early morning.

Friday: Rain. No walk.

Reading:

Listening:

Before dawn; After dusk

2009-11-14T14:21:00.004-06:00

Monday: Short, around the block walk with Cleo.

In the evening, walked from FUMC-Dallas to El Centro, did some grading, then back.

Where murals should be
ads for ice tea and caddies
bully the bus stop.

Tuesday: Small circle route and addendum with Cleo as people leave for work and others get up.

During scouts, walked around the general area of downtown Royse City.

Wednesday: Small circle route with Cleo as I worried about the broken water heater.

Friday: After cursing the computer and wondering why I found my keys in the boy's Halloween bucket, walked the small circle route with Cleo. The moon looked like the bright clipping of a fingernail and was now and then obscured by thin, hazy clouds.

Reading:

Listening:

In the cool air

2009-11-09T06:00:00.003-06:00

Saturday: I am going to count the hour and a half trick-or-treating with my son, because my back hurt like the dickens by the time I got home.

Monday: Five a.m. walk, small square route, with Cleo. Air nice and cool. Ear not hurting, but still feeling stuffed.

During daughter's choir rehearsal, walked from FUMC-Dallas to El Centro; graded work in one of their quiet computer rooms, then walked back; took about fifteen minutes each way.

Tuesday: Short, around the block walk with Cleo in the early morning.

As the boy joined his scout troop, I walked from FUMC-Royse City down Main Street through downtown, then behind some buildings near the railroad tracks I think hold grain or something like it, then through some dark streets and back to downtown, toward the library, and back to FUMC; I think it may have taken about forty minutes.

Wednesday: Square route with addendum with Cleo, who was excited the whole way, sniffing and leaping in the cool air as if meeting someone.

the neighborhood is lit
by porch lights and a full moon
and here I am with the dog
looking for answers

Reading:

Listening:

Losing Ears

2009-10-31T12:12:00.005-05:00

I've struggled to walk this week, dealing both with an ear infection and rain. Those, and an general unwillingness to get out of bed until absolutely necessary.

Tuesday: walked for over half an hour near downtown Royse City while son was in scouts; air cool and damp; sort of wish I'd brought Cleo with me since she hasn't been out that much lately; composed a poem, wrote it down, lost it. The following is a reconstruction from the bits I remember

these old houses sport
the decorations of fake horror
sheets of orange ghosts hung
beside crosses in stained glass
glowing skeletons near plastic tombstones
from a dark porch
a man's after dinner smoke
wafts into the street
the real demons can hardly be seen

Friday: 30 minute walk through the neighborhood (small square route) with Cleo around five this morning; finally was able to get my tail out of bed and do this; praying-no poem.

Reading:

Listening:

Too busy; too sick

2009-10-18T09:27:00.008-05:00

Saturday: Dropped daughter off at fundraiser in Plano, then had a lunch and Jack in the box, then an hour of reading with a nice Chai Tea at Starbucks; having left my sweatshirt at home and not wanting to brave the icky weather, I went to The Shops at Willow Bend thinking to try some mall walking; remembered immediately why I don't do this: too much dang noise; while the stores and the people were very interesting to look at -- a people watching writer's dream--give me bad weather and the sounds of traffic or wind and insects anytime.

Thursday: Took son to the doctor and stepped on the scale-- 257; thing didn't work afterward, so maybe it was broken.

Friday: Very short walk in the cold, early morning "around the block," more to calm the dog than for exercise.

After eating an icky salad for lunch, I walked across campus, then around most of the EFC jogging trail, to wake up more than for exercise, but I did break a little sweat in the cool October air.

Reading:

Listening:

Old routes new

2009-10-13T00:36:00.006-05:00

Saturday: Morning walk with Cleo along the L route, but few sunflowers to see; noticed a house with several acres stretching behind my house is for sale--daydreamed a little about building a soccer field.

A bag of toys burst
open in the grass. The field
prevents their escape.

Monday: After dropping daughter off at choir rehearsal, walked from FUMC (Dallas) to the public library only to discover the library is now closed on Mondays; walked from there to El Centro (with the help of a security guard since the route was unfamiliar); noticed that while I had not been in downtown Dallas in months, many of the same buildings were in their states of disrepair and going-to-be-repaired; after grading papers in a computer lab at ECC, walked back to FUMC to pick up the child, my back hurting, my pants stuck to me by sweat, but still early enough to enjoy the paintings in the gallery

Thursday: Late morning/early afternoon--2 miles on the EFC jogging trail; prayed about things recently making me angry--remembered Screwtape's advice to Wormwood about little resentments; thought about a review of a Richard Souther cd I keep putting off; thought about apples in my office I planned to eat for lunch.

I pulled a muscle
trying to fix a shoelace.
So how lame am I?

While daughter was a soccer practice, walked half an hour around middle school with Cleo, noticing how many football fields there are in this town.

Reading:

Listening:

Overwhelmed

2009-10-06T11:24:00.004-05:00

Tuesday: Trying to stay awake and overwhelmed with papers to grade and worries about the car, I walked two miles on the EFC jogging/walking track.

Wednesday: Early morning walk, small square route with addendum, with Cleo.

Reading:

Listening to:

and some archived jazz concerts at NPR.

Missed Opportunities

2009-09-29T10:19:00.003-05:00

Saturday and Sunday: great weather for once, and rain coming Monday; no excuse to not walk other than work and fatigue.

Tuesday: alarm went off at 4, and again at 4:30, and again...got up at 5:30--too late for a walk; then I had to leave early from work, so I missed another chance

while son was at Scouts, walked from FUMC to downtown Royse City--saw historical marker for the mason hall, the police station, and the downtown restaurants as the sun set

Thursday: mid-morning walk around EF track; almost went two laps, but was worried about papers I needed to grade

Smell of wet, cut grass
and clay-like mud.
Fall air so breathable
even with machines in the distance.
But I am distracted
by an imaginary interview
with Craig Ferguson.

Friday: early morning "around the block" walk with Cleo; Fall is here for now.

after spending an hour with a financial planner (not mine), walked on EF track; would have gone two laps, but had pain in my foot I though at first had been due to a shoelace tied too tightly; after two attempts to readjust the lace, the pain persisted; I did find an old, cracked rubber ball to throw to Cleo, so it wasn't a total loss.

Reading this week:

Listening to:

Rain/Delays

2009-09-19T09:12:00.007-05:00

Tuesday: mid-morning walk on EF track; first walk in a few days, partially because of the weather, partially because of not getting up early enough; keep forgetting to take radio with me

Against the breezes
again I cannot assuage
memories of slights.

after a short walk around the block, such as can be done in my neighborhood, I took Cleo to watch daughter's soccer practice; but there was no practice because of the rain; so daughter and I kicked the ball back and forth while the dog tried to get away from me to help the boy's team; later we ran a few sprints that did not tired the dog

Wednesday: early morning walk on the small square route with Cleo wishing the tune of "The Candy Man" would stop bouncing inside my head

An old song loops in
my foggy brain this morning.
Nothing drives it out.
not crickets saying good night
or dog at my feet panting.

went to healing service/eucharist in the evening; back feels a bit better

Thursday: waited for a student to come for an appointment, but she didn't show, so 30 minutes late, I took my walk on the EF track; distracted by the fact that the radio/compass/flashlight/clock thing wasn't working

Everything hurts
when the radio
doesn't work.

Reading this week:

Listening to this week:

Late

2009-09-15T10:41:00.004-05:00

Saturday: late morning walk with Cleo, L route.

Tuesday: early morning with Cleo, small square route.

Clear morning sky of stars:
I should be enjoying them.
But one blinks or twinkles
like a light about to go out.
God save us!

mid-morning walk on Eastfield track; it only hurts a little, but I hope I don't have to smell good the rest of the day.

Thursday: small square route with Cleo in the early morning.

House lights and sprinklers
on before the sun rises
and I, walking late

This week reading:

Listening to this week:

and some streaming concerts at NPR.

Little Rebellions

2009-09-05T08:19:00.007-05:00

Saturday: after waking later than usual, long morning walk with Cleo rebelling most of the way

recalcitrant dog

almost negates the value

of exercise

by pulling against the leash

Tuesday: mid-morning walk on walking track at Eastfield; had to hurry because halfway through I remembered I had an appointment

Lord, why can’t I walk

Until my worries go away?

Wednesday: early morning walk with Cleo-small square route with addendum

In Heaven, I’ll be less concerned

With doing than with being.

I’ll have no concerns.

I’ll be.

In the presence of God

I will be who He made me to be.

“You, O Lord, are my Lamp;

my God you make my darkness bright.” Psalm 18:28

walked across campus and back twice to stay awake

Friday: early morning walk with Cleo and a mug of coffee along small square route with addendum

Report: much stress this week; I know I overate a couple of times and ate a few things not on the diet.

Listening to this week:

Reading this week:

Bursts

2009-08-30T07:16:00.007-05:00

Saturday: mid-morning walking from McKinney library to St. Peter’s and back

White flowers open

wide as if spring has arrived

and soak in the sun.

Along the path back I sweat.

Petals and vines burst with light.

Tuesday: twice walked across campus, the journey more arduous than it should have been

Wednesday: morning walk along small square route with Cleo who seemed more energized afterwards than before

Friday: morning walk with Cleo along small square walk with addendum

Sprinklers his at grass.

A rabbit hides in the yard.

Houses remain dark.

Trying to give chase, my dog

strains against my back muscles.

This week reading:

This week listening to:

Returning to New Habits

2009-08-22T00:28:00.007-05:00

Wednesday: morning walk, L route (rowdy-circle-circle-rowdy), with Cleo

“It is no use walking anywhere to preach, unless our preaching be our walking.” --- St. Francis of Assisi

Thursday: morning walk, L route, with Cleo; nice conversation with neighbors at end

A bag of stuffed toys,

a computer monitor,

and tall sunflowers.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit.” --- Aristotle

Friday: wanted to walk the L route to see the sunflowers after last night’s rain, but Cleo was too excited about a stray dog in the neighborhood; walled the small square route (trent-singleton-brandon-rowdy) with variation (pena-santo-keyes, which adds ten minutes)

Rain has cooled the earth

overnight

and even the ordered flowers

stand bright at attention.

Dark clouds hang

overhead

but the sun is coming.

Has come.

“We are witnessing the Internet going mobile. Remember that the faster that information travels, the faster that misinformation can travel.” --- David Kirk

Reports: can’t find my glucose monitor or my sphygmomanometer; weighed around 250 on my mother-in-law’s scale, but I don’t know how accurate that is

This week reading:

This week listening to:

The headache thing

2008-08-17T10:29:00.006-05:00

First of all, I have been sick. I have only walked once in the past week.

Second, the heat in Texas (coupled with my schedule) has made it very difficult to walk with any regularity. The best times to avoid the heat are early morning and late evening. In the morning, I write. I cannot break this routine, and I can have even less flexibility once school starts. Then, I’ll have to get up at four a.m. just to get a few minutes to write before going to work. (Of course the plus here, is that I can walk between classes and grading papers, and be inside when I return to work.)

At night, I have my family to attend to. Some activities have started already, but when school begins, I’ll have to take my kids to practices, rehearsals, and scout meetings. I’ll have to stay at most of these, and won’t be able to walk all that much.

Third, I have this headache thing going on. Whenever I get excited or try to do something more physical than refilling my water glass, I get this piercing headache. If I push myself, I only end up making the headache worse and being sick at my stomach the rest of the day. Even reading or watching television become difficult then. I don’t think walking in the hundred degree plus heat with that is a good idea.

I know that much of the headache thing is due in part to a lot of factors that I am working to control (diet and medication are going to help). But for now, I’m even more sedentary than before.

The library

2008-07-24T08:36:00.002-05:00

Walking the perimeter of the library during class serves many purposes. One, is the obvious benefit of exercise. (Though I'm not sure I'm burning a lot of calories. At least I'm moving.) The other benefit is finding all those students who seem to think that "research day" means: sign the roll sheet, surf the net for porn, check personal email, sleep, chat with classmates, sign the roll sheet again.

Not walking

2008-07-14T12:41:00.001-05:00

Car died again over the weekend. Should have walked more, especially since I was depressed about the vehicle situation. Instead I worked. Back to old habits, I guess. Here's to hoping I get the car fixed soon and walk more. I will be at work a long time today, waiting for Brad. That gives me time to grade some papers, but also to walk. Will try to do so after lunch.

Walking to the elementary school

2008-07-09T00:10:00.003-05:00

This afternoon, I walked, with Max and Cleo, up to the nearby Elementary School. It isn't far, but it was after one p.m. in the hot hot hot of July. My back didn't ache so much, but my hands were raw from grasping short on Cleo's leash. Max played on the playground while I walked a bit with the tired dog trying once again, to train her to stop and start on command. At the rate I have been going with her, I'll have her fully trained in time for her to tell someone I fell in a well behind the old folks home.

Worked up a decent sweat. Talked to the boy about education and various things that interest him. Dog has been laying around all day, pausing only to bark at one or more passersby with precious little enthusiam.

Was nice for me, though in the middle of the day. I had written quite a bit on my stories/novel and needed to clear my head before tackling school stuff. Glad I worked it in.

Walking to the library

2008-07-06T10:33:00.004-05:00

Okay, it is entirely possible that my back hurts when I walk, not because of Cleo dragging me along, but because of my massive girth. Tonya says it is the crappy shoes I have been in. I suppose when I find my dirty New Balance pair and get them washed, I'll find out. I'm fairly sure I'll still be fat when I do.

Walked from the house to the library on Thursday. The car had been fixed, but I basically wanted to see if I could do it. So I loaded my backpack with books to return, my small notebook, my cell phone and a water bottle. Of course, part of my foolishness was that I was leaving between 5:30 and 6 in the afternoon.

Halfway there, I stopped to drink most of the water. My house is seven tenths of a mile from I-30 and I figure is is another half to full mile from there to the library. The heat was a problem, but I still felt okay. I suppose it was a bit easier than the trip to Tiger Mart (on 30) a few days before. Was a bit dizzy when I got there. When I turned in the books, I was surprised to note that the librarian remembered me from a conversation we'd had the previous week.

I had intended to look for the new Keller book by Lawrence Block (knowing that they probably didn't have it), but it was not there. So I checked out two books by Walter Mosely. I doubt I'll be disappointed.

The walk back was difficult. The stretch of 548 from I-30 to my house has no sidewalk. So one navigates stretches of grass and dirt. I wanted to walk against the traffic for to be safe, so I ended up walking in the ditch area on my return trip. Since that grass has recently been mowed, I was able to walk at the bottom of the ditch instead of at angle (something that makes walking quite painful for old, out of shape guys like me). When I was close to the house, I took a short cut through a construction area, where they have a rock road. When I walked on that same road the other day, it was okay. But this time, I could feel my back crying out, screaming really, asking me what the heck made me think this was a good idea.

I was only a couple blocks from home when Tonya called, worried about me. I told her I was okay and would soon be there. The air conditioning was marvellous and the bowl of spaghetti she had already made for me was more delicious than I anticipated. Drank lots of water. Watched some television. Got lots of sweat on the couch.

This was a satisfying, thought difficult, walk. I think I'll try to do it again Monday or Tuesday.

Walking to the store

2008-07-02T12:22:00.006-05:00

Have had a couple of walks, nothing big. Listening now to Bill Bruford's disc with Eddie Gomez and Ralph Towner If Summer Had Its Ghosts. Will have to write about that on Monk Notes soon. No pictures. The digital camera is in the pawnshop. Maybe I'll add one from a different walk.

Last Friday the car broke down. We spent most of the late afternoon to night getting it to Farmersville. So Saturday morning, I got up early and walked to the American National Bank to use the ATM, then to Tiger Mart for some breakfast stuff, since I wasn't sure how long I'd be without a car.

The main walk wasn't bad. It was not yet super hot. I made it to the bank in about fifteen minutes. Then when I got to Tiger Mart, I ran into a woman who used to work there who had her little girl with her. We talked about her new job, the car problems, her husband's job, their new apartment.

Then I went in. These car problems tend to send me into panic mode, so I ended up buying much more stuff than I needed. The lady who checked me out offered to have someone drive me home. I made some joke about how I needed the exercise, but was touched by the offer.

Then to the doughnut place. All my stuff ended up in box which was quite unwieldy with the three bags I was hauling.

The trip home was definitely harder, longer. My back was a mess by the time I got home (having already been taxed quite a bit the day before with all the pushing of the dead car). I had put a clean shirt on before I left and I needed another when I returned home. Drank lots of water (not that I was stopped from having coffee).

First walk

2008-06-19T14:22:00.006-05:00

I used to walk all the time. Now I want to, but don't. Lots of reasons. The one that's on my mind now is that in the morning I am usually writing or sleeping (at least in the summer time). In the evening, I am typically busy. So the best time, particularly during my "time off" is the afternoon, when the heat is tremendous.

Went out with Cleo (dog) and Max (son) about 1:30. The weather is a bit milder than the past couple days because of a little rain this morning. Max was wearing some kind of sweatshirt and his straw hat that makes me want to call him Huck. Must be good to be ten and thin. Cleo tried to drag me at first, but as I said, was happy to be back when we returned. The route itself was mostly a circuit of the neighborhood.

Took some pictures of flowers. Max didn't talk much because he listening to a book on his iPod. I think about taking my iPod when I walk because I really love music, but I usually don't because I want to hear the music of the world when I'm out. That isn't as romantic as it probably sounds. I'm also concerned I'll miss hearing some truck coming down the street too fast just before it hits me. Anyway, in my head I was hearing "Red" by The Crimson Jazz Trio, which is what I remember listening to just before I left.

I certainly don't need any new projects, but I'm hoping this blog will help me stay motivated to walk more. As I said, I used to do it all the time, when I needed to clear my head. I need to clear my head even more often than I need the exercise (and I DO need the exercise). Have so many things to do that I end up either doing nothing or the thought of one thing distracts me from whatever it is I'm working on. Can't get much done that way. Of course, as I walked this afternoon, I thought of something else to do: this blog.

Walking it off

Too many answers

Against grey

Avoiding

Brothers and Books

Sunny Day

I wonder who is older

Release

What keeps me from these devotions?

That’s all?

A shot

Headaches and clouds

After a promising start

I’m back…maybe

Some poem written the last time I walked

Only Monday

A Lessening

Spring Break -- Daylight Savings

How does steel grow?

Blame it on the meds

Behind

Snow!

Almost back to routine

Bad dog forces mediocre walk

Sunday walk

Few disasters here

A very cold week

Christmas Week 2009

Oh to be young and stupid

Once around the block

Not really back on track

Blame it on Thanksgiving

Unfinished

Before dawn; After dusk

In the cool air

Losing Ears

More reading than walking

Too busy; too sick

Old routes new

Overwhelmed

Missed Opportunities

Rain/Delays

Late

Little Rebellions

Bursts

Returning to New Habits

The headache thing

The library

Not walking

Walking to the elementary school

Walking to the library

Walking to the store

First walk