Thursday, March 12, 2015

Backsliding Away, or Spring Broken

I keep thinking about that old Paul Simon song, especially those lines "You know the nearer your destination/The more you're slip slidin' away."

We have had a lot of ice days here in North Texas, and right before Spring Break. When I have been able to get out, the walking stick is sometimes more of a hindrance than a help, but I took it anyway, sure that letting go of this small thing would spell disaster.

And so the old panic sets in, the kind that looks like too much caffeine and feels like neglect. It isn't just me slipping back into a couple of old habits. I haven't re-habited them. But the world around--the people and the groups and the weather--also seem to have returned to what it thought was normal, but for me is insanity.

snow bright woods
my inadequate shoes
crunching ice and twigs
until my pocket rings

And the inaptly named Spring Break continues with rain doing more to keep me in than the ice or snow. So it is clear I make excuses. It is clear that little is clear. Keep going. I know, but it isn't easy. Why should it be?