Thursday, September 16, 2010

What keeps me from these devotions?

I want so badly to get back into the swing of walking, but too darn much life has gotten in the way. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

Having recently read Scott Cairns’ Short Trip to the Edge: Where Earth Meets Heaven--A Pilgrimage, I have felt a pulling to devote more time to the Jesus Prayer and the Lord’s Prayer, and also to walk as a matter of spiritual, more than physical discipline. Of course, I have said the latter before, but this book (which is not really about walking) and some other things I have encountered have put me again in this mindset.

What keeps me from these devotions? Nothing and plenty.

I have been walking more at work, now that I have been back a couple of weeks. I try to space time out so that I can walk across campus every hour or so, as I have done before, to get coffee or something I may need from the division office. At least my back (which has suffered lately) has been grateful. But I have also spent a lot of time in the xar, and it is hard to walk when driving.

I have also had the blessing of a neighbor, new to me, who has given me reason to be afraid to leave the house, and in particular, afraid to walk in the neighborhood during the hours I would likely walk. I won’t go into the details about this here.

But I must pray, and I must find time and place to walk. I mustn’t give in to fear. Even in the dark, I must step toward Grace.