Sunday, March 28, 2010

A Lessening

Sunday: Walked around the Ashton Cemetery a little bit. It really wasn’t much in the way of exercise, except mentally perhaps. It was very cold, and I was sore.
 In Ashton Cemetery, there are signs
of a cold radiance and absorption:
a toy under a wreath blown over,
a wet condom in the parking lot,
a trucker catching up on sleep.
The bare trees rustle like animals curious
but too depressed to hunt.

Monday: The weather was nice for my walk to El Centro. (This after some goofiness in the forecast: 70s on one day and snow the next.) On the way, I passed through the West Transfer Station and noticed two interesting things. First, there is a kind of history of Dallas etched into parts of the cement. Second, there is a sign that contains a long list of rules of behavior. It makes me sad that the world is so full of people who don’t know how to act and have to be reminded via signage.
While grading papers, I listened to The Elephant Sleeps But Still Remembers by Jack DeJohnette and Bill Frisell. Was listening through the Bluetooth on my phone. Enjoyed it so much, I continued listening as I walked back, departing from my usual habit of trying to note the sounds of the city around me.
Pain did not get as intense as the previous days and didn’t hit until I was near my destination each time. I don’t know what that means, but I’m grateful.
 Thursday: I’ve decided I need to measure how far it is between my office and the division office. Sometimes it is all I can do to get from one to the other.



Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spring Break -- Daylight Savings

Tuesday: Because Daylight Savings started this week, there was sunlight as I took the Tuesday walk through Royse City. This time, I avoided downtown and walked through residential areas toward the city park. I began to hurt pretty early, and all I could think was how I was never going to lose this weight if I couldn't even walk a little bit without intense pain and shortness of breath. At the park, I stopped to rest.

Discourged. Only
a few feet into the walk
the back and legs rebel.
I have no defense,
no energy to surrender.
Just keep moving, I hear
myself say. But the scraping
of my feet on the pavement
sounds too much like a shovel
digging my grave.

Then I headed for the church where the boy was enjoying a party with his friends in scouts. I noticed the houses, so many well kept. Some houses were new, some were shotgun shacks made beautiful by good maintanence, some rennovated. Many had flowers or less natural designs to make them unique and attractive. Even those near crumbling seemed wonderful to me.

And as I neared my destination, I realized that I did not envy these people their money or their objects of beauty. I envied the time they had to partner with their hearts' desires, and maybe their Creator, to make their living spaces what they are.

Wednesday: I decided to take advantage of the time to walk in the shopping area near where my wife was being interviewed for a job in Rockwall. I first made my way to the Best Buy to browse the computer stuff, but I spent most of my time there looking through their sorry selection of music. Did hear a Toby Keith song about Wayman Tisdale and an unreleased Jackson Five tune.

Then I made my way back and to the Dollar Tree. By the time I got there, I was hurting pretty bad. Saw some interesting things, but couldn't concentrate because my back,hip and leg hurt so much, I felt like I was spending all my energy holding myself up.

It is sometimes is like two bones rubbing together, and I worry that I have something serious going on with my back, though most of the pain seems to be where there is muscle and tendon, not bone. But what the heck do I know? I am fairly certain that if something doesn't change soon, I'll be back at the doctor's office. I can't lose any weight getting two sorry walks each week. And I can't lose stress, if all I can think about during these walks is that I made a mistake setting on this or any journey.



also a concert recording of the Mike Drake Quartet

Saturday, March 13, 2010

How does steel grow?

Tuesday: Walked through downtown Royse City again, glad to have it just cool enough for a sweatshirt, wishing, though I was very sore, that I had more time and energy to do this.

    How does steel grow?
    place a ball of it above
    my age abused hip,
    conceal the dark mass with fat.
    I'll walk it
in large thin shoes.

Friday: No walking, but I did play some soccer with my son, one of his teammates, and another father when the boys' practice didn't happen as planned. Fun and sweaty on a cool evening.



Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Blame it on the meds

Sunday: Walked around the Eastfield building looking for an opening so I could do some work. Normally I wouldn't count this, but I hurt like mad when I found someone from campus security to let me in, so there it is.

Tuesday: Walked from FUMC-Royse City to downtown. Was going to vote, but I had arrived too late (having misinformed myself that the polls would be open until 8). Walked some more through downtown and back trying to not let it bother me that this deaf old lady kept telling me, almost shouting, that the polls were closed, though I clearly heard her the first time.

I don't have much in the way of excuses for not walking more or for getting more out of the walks I've had. Pain and anxiety play a role. So does the fact that the dogs' leashes both got broken. I'm also concerned about my meds. Had them all refilled, and between that and being very behind in my work, my sleep has been significantly jacked up. I look forward to Spring Break.